pity party for one, your table is ready...

i just wanted to stay in bed this morning. i actually stayed home from work yesterday because my left tonsil had swollen up to the size of a grapefruit. kind of unpleasant. i am postive, however, that it is getting harder and harder (maybe impossible) to get up and go to my job. i feel so overwhelmed with all the things i need to accomplish when i'm there, that i essentially just completely shut down. in addition, i get almost zero acknowledgement for anything i do and get paid minor duckets. i find myself leaving earlier when i used to work well into the night on my own work and just end up at home watching bad late night television. and i'm not sure what's more depressing than that. i'm re-working my way through all the classics on my bookshelf as well, and i am reminded of how much i do not like dickens. i think i'm torturing myself in more ways than one.